I remember my mother, grandmother, teachers, church leaders and other community members invested their time and energy in me when I was young to grow my skills, my mind, my character and eventually my capability as a leader. It was likely the same for you.
Many youth grow up starved for adult attention and suffer the inevitable results associated with the lack of positive adult interaction in their lives. Youth development requires caring adults to lead the way for youth especially those at risk of dropping out of school or engaging in risky behavior such as substance abuse, early sexual debut or juvenile crime.
The body of literature reveals that mentoring is the caring, consistent relationship with a trusting bond between mentor and mentee that is paramount in supporting the development process or change in youth. Here's what we know based on mentor studies conducted by the U.S. Departments of Education and Justice. Mentor/ mentee relationships having sustainable long term effects:
- last at least one year in duration;
- are based on mutual interests;
- mentees see mentors more as friends rather than authority figures.
What is not well studied or known is how to stimulate that bond using a model that can be repeated in many settings.
So let's begin our conversation by discussing the qualities of successful mentors. You may wish to share stories about the qualities the mentors in your life possess.
I have noticed great change in those students who are participating in the Mentor program.
ReplyDeleteWe began a little over a year ago, and since then the amount of youth that want to join has grown, and everyday I hear When can I be in the Mentor program from younger siblings of those who are already in it.
I think it's a great thing that we as youth development professionals and people in our community are doing for these kids!
I know that I really felt something special this year in the program when a fellow employee who is a mentor to two young boys went out of his way to go any buy Christmas presents for his two mentee's and too see the smile on their faces it was really something. He didn't have to but that fact that he has created special bonds with those two boys when I asked him why he did that, he said it just came natural, I felt I was just buying for my younger brothers.... and we don't always think of it being that way, but truthfully it's just like them having a big brother or sister to look up too.
Generosity is definitely a valuable trait in a mentor. Thanks for sharing it. I also think the identification of the mentor as a big brother is important but maybe not as important as the sense of "family" regardless of how the relationship is defined.
ReplyDeleteThe bond with in our doors is powerful. It's easy to know when a member had a bad day... they won't look you in the eyes but when they are ready (on their terms) they will tell you what happened. They do this because they know the person they are telling will listen. They know we care and as humans all of us have that need. The need to know that someone listens, that someone cares. Mentoring is the word but the concept is simple. Let a child know you care and they will care about their own life. That's the empowerment circle that appears when you listen and care. You are feeding a basic human need with in all of us. It also helps that since we are creatures of habit once a child creates a habit of living up to their potential great things will happen in their lives as well as their family's. It takes but a half hour but in a child it lasts a lifetime.
ReplyDeleteLaura - I salute your efforts. What tremendous gifts we give our youth when we mentor - our direction, experience, our wisdom (to the extent we have it) and our love and affection. And, what wonderful gifts we receive from them in return - a new perspective on life, energy, renewal, another reason for being. My Dad used to tell me that every person we meet can serve as both our students and our teachers. Your work is a testament to that idea.
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